i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
And then he peed in my hair
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