Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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