i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
