Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I want to make a zoo with you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
