This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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