You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
