I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
