fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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