I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
