Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
