I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
