They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
