Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
