I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
