I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
