last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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