My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm getting married
To pizza
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
