how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
