well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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