Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
