his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
