If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
