Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i think my cat just said my name.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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