sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
