I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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