he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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