who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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