you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
