Do you still have your period?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
