if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
