I'm going to jail i love you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
