we're blogging at a bar
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
