Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
