Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
