they need to just BURY HIM!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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