FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
