ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
