the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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