I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
