Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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