yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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