I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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