Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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