Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
