I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
