Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
