yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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