My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
