I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I love you. Go after that dick
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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