Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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