The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
