Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
